Faith's a gift am yet to receive

Been searching for you, long
or signs to say you exist, atleast
for most of what I do or beleive
seems linked to you, somehow, somwhere

Goodness, humanity , parents, generous
Idols, values, teachers, kindness
so many forms, so many releifs
to me you seem to thrive on beleifs

If then, belief or faith, is you
what makes someone the vessel
to be gifted this something special?
born with or earned, I wonder about it often.

Some, being born with the puprose
seems unfair to the other -
what's his fault, the faithless one
cursed to be rudderless, even before birth

Some say beleive first
and then shall you see him
Is blind faith the very basis
of truth, your existence? - I hope not.


Or ....

You just a figment of imagination?
some pathetic excuse for ourselves?
a vaguely understood fear of unknown?
a superb conjurence, masking the ultimate truth?

a figment of imagination
a doll made of straw
made up by a listless one
exploted by the clever'un
is that whay you may be?

Are you the sorry excuse
for all our follies and misdeeds?
a soothing balm to the unlucky many
eyesores of the winners few, in the lottery of birth.

the great fear of unknown
of what lies beyond our grasp
we tend not to adjust with our ignorance
but give it ur name and rever it to the last?

Finally, unable to bear the truth
that life is but a crawl to death
and we the weaklings, need you to mask it
lest we give up and meet it pre-time?

Oh GOD, what a vex you are!
sometimes wish I were a pedant
confident in whatever my beleif
and never seeing the other side

But I am what I am -a seeker,
with warts and all, but still a seeker
Come to terms with you, in my life,
I will for sure, before it is all up.


(Many thanks to "Robert Langdon" for the Title line and the train of thought it raised and Parnasala Mahesh for bringing the scene to notice)